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Lions and Tigers and Bears

Last night I went over to my friend Peter’s house to watch the Yankees game. I also intended to drop off a couple of items Peter had left at my house. One of those items was a snazzy pink checked button-down shirt. It wasn’t Peter’s. So if you’ve left a rather handsome pink shirt at my house, I’ll be wearing it. You might have to snatch it off my person. If you are successful, the shirt is yours (again). If not, possession is nine-tenths of the law, baby. Tough titties.

As watching the Yankees falling down and rolling about in the grass began to resemble an act of flagellation (in a bad way, mind you), we decided to flip channels to something more uplifting. Unsurprisingly, we landed on the Animal Channel. The program playing brought into Peter’s distinctly urbane living room a pride of lions attacking a zebra. The lions then proceeded to go to chow town on it. Peter and I agreed it would be awesome to be a lion because 1) the men get to straight chill while the ladies do all the work and 2) they’re lions. ‘Nuff said. I then returned home.

I traveled to and from Peter’s house via taxi. While a crosstown jaunt should really, for the sake of frugality, be completed via subway, I find myself taking cabs during the summer far more than is strictly necessary. This results from a combination of two factors. First, a subway ride now costs something like $7. Right? Its so expensive! Really, a cab isn’t much more if you think about it. And second, it’s hot down there in the lair of the rat king. I’d rather enjoy the air conditioning supplied by a snappy Ford Escape hybrid. Of course, hailing a taxi in the hottest months requires a little detective work. Every New Yorker knows a cab with windows down is a cab with no working air conditioning. So be sure to selectively hail or you’ll be baking on a minimally-cushioned sheet of vinyl for thirty five blocks. You’ve been forewarned…

xx

-B

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