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Welcome back

September 16th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

Summer has drawn to a close and I’m back on the blogsphere. Yes, I know, you’ve missed me. Well fear not, long and “important” reflections are coming your way in a few days. But today, lets ease back into things, shall we?

What’s the single most important moment of the week? Clearly its Kanye yelling at Taylor Swift. In case you missed it, Taylor Swift won a VMA for best something. Kanye West grabbed the mic away from her and said Beyonce should have won. Cut to Beyonce looking like a pillhead receiving a backhanded complement. Then Kanye ambled off-stage right and a bunch of people booed. Taylor Swift looked really sad, and stuff, and then something else happened but I’m not sure because Viacom pulled part II of the clip from YouTube. Apparently she performed America the Beautiful. Oh wait, that was David Archuleta at the US Open. My bad. Also, Obama called Kayne a “jackass” when he thought he was speaking off the record. Whoops.

Mike Hale responds to the controversy here. In his piece he makes some stunning discoveries. Did you know that performers sometimes fall victim to “hubris?” Or that we Americans have an “addiction to artificial drama?” You didn’t? Well, as Biggie once said, “if you don’t know, now you know [unprintable naughty word]…”

Mike Hale goes on to call Barbara Walters a “vampire” and suggests that perhaps Kayne created the whole controversy deliberately to sabotage Jay-Z’s recent album drop. Along the way, he suggests “Middle American sensibilities” were represented somehow in Kanye’s apology to Leno. Huh? I read the sentence three times and still can’t figure out what the hell he’s saying. But I do know he’s not gonna let YOU stop HIM from sayin’ it!

While Mr. Hale doesn’t really tell us anything we don’t already know, he does reveal that he is angry as hell, and he’s SO not gonna take it anymore. He writes about Taylor Swift like she’s an old slag whore, suggesting she’s “…obviously tough as nails.” Really? ‘Cause to me after Kanye insulted her she looked a little bit like a 19 year old girl who was about to cry. Like burst into tears, sob-fest 2009, deluge of salty salty sadness.  The fact that she went backstage and pulled it together to perform five minutes later is, I think, pretty damn awesome. Though I’m now used to anything and everything going wrong in performance (and those of you who’ve seen me on stage know calamity often ensues just as I make my grand entrance), I don’t think I could have so easily come back to pull off what she did when I was just beginning my professional career.

So Mike, if you’re reading this, we get it. Americans are, mostly, dumb. Kanye is deplorable. Taylor Swift is a shape-shifter who will go TrueBlood-style on yo’ azz. But here’s the weird thing about celebrities and award shows and talk show appearances and reality tv. Sometimes shit happens and you’re like, “oh shit, wtf is going on” and then you react, sometimes by bursting into tears or drinking too much and making a jackass of yourself. Basically, its a lot like real life. Plus cameras. Sure, there are differences. The bar is top shelf and hangers-on blow a lot of smoke up your ass. But at the end of the day you’re like, ugh I need some Pepto, and my dogs are barking, get me outta these shoes… just like the rest of us. So when I look at Taylor Swift, I think I’m seeing something different than you. Sure, the girl’s ambitious. And she’s pretty (but she does need to eat something, let’s all PLEASE agree on that). But she’s also a 19 year old young woman. And she’s a lot more like any 19 year old young woman in Idaho than she is like a bullet-proof, transformers version of Judith Regan. All I’m sayin’ is, lets keep it real.



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