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Movie Night

Alex and I watched a fabulous movie last night. It came from a video rental store in Yarmouth decorated with signs advertising the space as “For Lease!” Alex, ever the optimist, asked the sole employee, a teenage girl, if they were relocating. “Wer goin outta business,” she replied flatly. Then she informed us we had three minutes to make a selection as “we close eleven.” A careful perusal of all available titles was not an option but I knew I was hankerin’ for a comedy. Thus, I elegantly lunged at the first DVD with a smiling person I recognized on the cover and came up with the aforementioned film. I don’t remember what it was called but it had in it Amy Poehler and Parker Posey (playing a role that was obviously written for Tina Fey). It had a sort of charming, straight-to-DVD type of energy that I always find seductive after 2 painkillers and a bracing glass of ice cold apple juice. Let me recap some of the crucial plot elements, since I highly suspect that there are certain markets in which said film will not be released (i.e. “The United States” and “all of Europe”).

The three gals play younger versions of themselves in an opening sequence that taxed the film’s makeup artists beyond their meager capacity. Very little attempt was made to craft the appearance of youth. Parker Posey looked fabulous even though she was supposed to be a nerd. This is because Parker Posey clearly does not eat and has wonderful, threatening, high cheekbones.

Later, the girls realize their lives suck as adults and so through some shenanigans they end up in a tropical locale that looks like Cancun but is called something else. Kristin Cavallari (the reality TV star) was in some of these scenes but I didn’t recognize her. She was either the girl with the really big lips or the one they always put next to the Asian. There were also lots of hot 26 year old non-union actors playing teenagers. Many of them had little clothing on. This was the high point of the movie for me. There was one really spectacularly gorgeous guy in a blue baseball cap who had that YDFC quality I so admire. Talk about hired for talent! Blue Baseball Cap didn’t actually have any lines, just sort of stared blankly at the ladies as they “did comedy” around him. He was very good at this. In one of the last scenes Blue Baseball Cap has to say, “Wait” and he was actually okay at that too. I hope he earned his SAG card.

So what else happens? Well, everyone has sex and then learns to like themselves for “who they are.” Oh and someone played the bongos at some point badly but not intentionally-funny-for-effect badly. Just badly. That was good too.

As you can see, Percocet is a very powerful narcotic and not to be used recreationally. If my darn back and throat and just ‘bout everythin else didn’t hurt so darn tootin much I’d never sip the sticky stuff again!

Also, lots of people have been emailing me and saying “oh I just forwarded your email to like 63 people and they LOVE it.” And by lots of people I mean 1 and by 63 I mean 3 (4 if you include her other email account ‘cause I was sending it to her old one) and by LOVE I mean SKIMMED. A few people have also mentioned that I should start a blog so I had Alex set one up for me (Shawna – he’s angling for your job – rub him out now) and he did a really good job! You should check it out even though there is nothing there that you haven’t already seen in email form. But still. And tell your friends too. Especially if they are easily offended. The site is www.MySilentLife.com (catchy, huh? I thought of it!).

Xx

-B

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  1. CeCe
    August 9th, 2009 at 19:18 | #1

    Confession I have also seen “Spring Breakdown” with Parker Posey, Amy Poeler and Rachel Dratch . . . I actually enjoyed it with out pain killer 😉

  2. Mommy Wheelan
    August 18th, 2009 at 17:12 | #2

    My personal favorite is ‘wonderful, threatening, high cheekbones’ OR
    ‘Don’t come at me with those threatening, high cheekbones’

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