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Embarrassment

December 10th, 2009 Leave a comment Go to comments

We’ve all had embarrassing party moments, right? Its inevitable. Let’s face it: if you are a social creature you are bound to have one or two choice moments per annum that don’t reflect your best face. We deal and move on. Nonetheless, lately I’ve been a participant in a couple of moments that bear some reflection. The first is simply unmentionable here because it involves readily identifiable others. Were this a blind item blog, that sort of thing would be acceptable. Alas (for you) it is not. Flip on Zalman King’s Showtime After Dark for your amusement.

The second, however, involves only my mortification. Therefore it is appropriate fodder for public ridicule. Lets get started, shall we? Tonight I had a couple of friends over for cocktails after my meeting at the LGBT Center. Rummaging the freezer for the vodka (a certain someone had mistakenly placed it in the fridge) I came upon a bag of pot that had seemingly liquefied. It looked as if someone had heated it over a stove and then stuck it to harden in the fridge. “Mon Dieu!” I cried out. “Look whats happened to this pot! I’ve never seen a little bag of marijuana harden so!”  The troops were similarly mystified until I found another baggie in the freezer, this one containing a small bit of twigs and leaves that looked much more identifiably like what those in previous generations would have referred to as a “dime bag of grass.” It was only then that I realized the prior bag I had been parading about my apartment in front of assorted guests was, in fact, Jasper’s two-week-old stool sample I had been saving for his next vet visit.

So whenever you, dear reader, think my life simply too glamorous for words, merely envision yours truly, exclaiming mock horror, whilst parading about his apartment in front of guests with a small bag of poo clenched betwixt two fingers.

We’re all prone to embarrassment from time to time, no?

xx

-B

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