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Oscars, Warmth, and the Way People Dress Now

Here in the Big Apple the weather is gorgeous for the first time in 2010 and the denizens of our fine, fine metropolis are collectively overjoyed at our good fortune. How are we celebrating? By wearing clothing inappropriate to the season, of course. The hipsters are rocking tshirts and jeans and sporting oversized Ray-Ban aviators to protect their (dilated) pupils from harm. Some guy was smoking in front of my building wearing shorts. Shorts. Really? You shouldn’t wear shorts in the city in my opinion. No one wants to see your pastey legs. But if you must, save ’em for the 100 degree days. Today does not qualify friends.

The most common fashion-related seasonal anticipation we see here in the city, though, is undoubtedly dudes wearing suits with no topcoat. Check out this dude, sans topcoat, on the uptown 6.

He is into it! Loving this liberating weather. He’s even drinking a Red Bull so that his senses may prove even more ready to fully appreciate the tweaked-out fabulousness of the season.

Really though, it ain’t that warm. You still need a coat. A light one, sure, but bare appendages are going to get chilly. Remember the adage -Question: What is a sweater? Answer: Something you put on when your mother is cold.

At least our warm-snap has freed us from red carpet related weather envy. LA may not have much on NYC, but that climate-controlled deal they’ve figured out over there is pretty sweet. Maybe Bloomie could get us some of that? Eh?

Speaking of the carpet, did you watch the Oscars? On the red carpet Matt Damon praised the skill of my homeboy Rich – hawt! And the show started well with NPH doing a fun and sparkly number and Alec Bladwin and Steve Martin delivering an immensely funny two man standup routine. But after that, things started to drag. Despite some cuts to the live program, it still feels about six and a half hours long. Partially, its the speeches. Its not just that they are sometimes overly long, its also that they are often dull as dishwater. I propose a solution to this problem. Under the new Billy system you would win your Oscar. But if your speech sucked, we’d all text in and then it would be revoked. Instantly. Then, no matter what, it would automatically be awarded to Meryl Streep.

I think this would encourage those nominees to think long and hard about what they were going to say before they got up there and started profusely thanking their legal team. Instead, maybe we get some tap numbers. Or stripteases. Or fellas makin’ it rain with Benjamins. That sort of thing.
Who is with me on this? Bueller? Bueller? Bueller?


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  1. March 16th, 2010 at 17:55 | #1

    Yo, thanking lawyers is the shizz!

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