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Late Breaking News

There isn’t any. Sorry. But this post is coming a bit later in the day than usual because today was an especially busy day. Sir Jasper decided he needed to step outside to use the facilities at 7:35am so yours truly was up not-so-bright and early. Why not-so-bright? Well certainly I am not referring to my mental acuity as nine days without alcohol or anything that could give me indigestion has left me able to leap tall buildings in a single bound – intellectually, that is. No, it was not-so-bright because it was, literally, not so bright. Another overcast, chilly day here.

No matter because today Billy and Alex went on a field trip. At midday we hurriedly ate fig newtons, grabbed the keys to the trusty hybrid, and headed out over some dirt roads to visit Alex’s friend Clayton who lives in somewhere called Argyle (like the socks…I think). He had a big strange house that he told us was made by combining three houses. Two of them had been moved from somewhere else. What? And then they were joined with wallpaper and glue and filled with love. The house (or three) was chock-a-block stuffed with “local Nova Scotia folk art” which is art made by seven year old Vietnamese orphans on acid. Also, there were mosquitoes the size of your fist who would visibly wind up before plunging what appeared to be the entirety of their sagittate bodies directly into your arm. Ouch!

Nonetheless, Clayton was very nice and he and Alex talked of Art and Shakespeare and rhubarb pie while I smiled and gesticulated wildly like a lunatic. Sometimes, to make them chuckle with delight, I would scribble a few illegible phrases onto a page which Alex would pretend to both read and understand. But lest you think we were lonely, just us three, which is also sometimes a crowd, fret not. Because some friends of Clayton’s were wandering about the house on their way to India (how Nova Scotia is on the way I cannot fathom – where were they coming from, Nunavut?) Clayton introduced me to them with a cheery, “This is Billy, he can’t speak!” They were all very impressed and smiled. I smiled back and a mosquito sucked out three pints of blood. Splat!

In all, I think Clayton really liked me and would have invited me back had he not, you know, umm had that other place to be right…oh, look at the time! Gotta run!

Speaking of travel, have any of you heard about this promotion that JetBlue is running? September 8 to October 8, one month, unlimited travel, $599. There are some restrictions like you have to book 3 days in advance and of course you can only book on flights that aren’t full but still. Rock on! I’m seriously considering doing it and taking some trips. Subject, of course, to the approval of B. Healy who knows all things travel. If you’re interested, the link is here: http://www.jetblue.com/deals/all-you-can-jet/. As always, please share your thoughts in the comments section.

Until tomorrow…



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  1. August 15th, 2009 at 05:59 | #1

    Thanks for article. Everytime like to read you.

  2. Gracie
    August 16th, 2009 at 16:52 | #2

    Thanks for the shout out in regards to slipping on vomit. We watched my epic fall on the security camera the night after, then marveled at the perpetrator, a bleach blonde girl holding her blackberry. Luckily her friend wiped the vomit from her mouth outside near the garage. But hopefully karma will come back around, as the restaurant manager recognized the classy young lady and put in the restaurant notes to refuse any future reservations, as well as to mention (if she calls back, thinking she got away with her snafu) that we do in fact know she “relieved” herself in the downstairs lobby flower pot.

    Love the blog. Love you.

  3. Mommy Wheelan
    August 17th, 2009 at 13:58 | #3

    When you are out again shopping for trinkets for the folks back in the world, please do keep Mummy in mind- “local Nova Scotia folk art,” made by ‘seven year old Vietnamese orphans on acid’ would be such a treat- Oh how I love that aesthetic

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